I’ve always been a Jack of all trades, master of absolutely none. And it has stood me in pretty good stead so far. I know just enough about everything to seem like I have a clue what I’m doing or talking about. I’m essentially a world-class blagger, with no real substance to anchor me if I ever get into rough waters.
I fully intended to continue as I’d started and not to get caught out as the half-arsed fraud I know I am. Never giving 100 per cent, so therefore knowing that, if I failed, it was ‘only because I didn’t try my best’ (that old cowardly chestnut...)!
You see, I fell into my job on the telly. I had no real desire to be in the public eye... I was living happily as a teacher before. Bizarrely, it was my coolness under pressure (because I didn’t care), that helped me get the job. “This will do for a while,” I thought, certain I’d be sacked after a month.
And yet, the jobs miraculously kept coming. For four years, I bumbled my way through tons of shows, completely oblivious to how ignorant my attitude was. My bare minimum appeared to be sufficient. So that was all I gave.
Even when I joined Radio 1, I am mortified to admit, I rocked up, no prep, no practice, and just about survived every show… Then it was announced I was to be the first woman in history to host The Official Chart show. A moment women had waited 60 years for – to finally hear the female authority on music. And in classic ‘Jameela’ style, on my first show, with a huge portion of the population listening, including the press, I naturally, hadn’t done enough research, and totally forgot the name of the NUMBER ONE track! I mean for god’s sake!
The number one track! Really? I couldn’t have forgotten number 37? But NUMBER ONE?!
And that was the moment the penny dropped. Was it worth living in fear of rejection to never really try? Just
so I had a good excuse for falling on my arse? Or was it better to do everything in my power to make sure it never came to that? Should I try investing a little faith in myself? Rather than this pathetic, defeatist attitude that I thought was SO funny... until now.
So I changed my ways. I turned up to work early and spent my spare time planning, thinking, sometimes boring myself to tears... but never once half-arsing it! It’s been a learning curve, and I’ve missed my social life, but, damn it, I finally
feel like I deserve something. And that’s what feels good.
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