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Jameela's June 2014 Column: "Why is everything so sexy?

Jameela's September 2013 Column: "I'm A World-Class Blagger"


I’m standing at a bus stop and, I know this sounds crazy, but I think Miranda Kerr is trying to have sex with me. I’m almost certain of it. She’s making major bedroom eyes at me and she’s using her arms to push her boobs in my direction, as she looks slightly orgasmic. I’m sweating. It’s properly weird. I’m straight, but I reckon if, otherwise inclined, I would be WELL in with a chance here. Or at least I would if it wasn’t just a poster of her...

But, seriously, why all the sex vibes to sell a pink T-shirt for £7.99? Does she want me to buy the top... Or take it off her? Am I supposed to stand like that and make those faces when I wear that top? Is it supposed to turn me on (as I stand wearing it while choosing bathroom bleach in Tesco)? Is she really that aroused by her T-shirt? Don’t get me wrong, it is a lovely top, but chill out babe...

What's Wrong With Digital Dumping? Jameela investigates...

I feel of late that almost everything revolving around women in media is sex-based. You can’t get away from it. Your shampoo is sexy, your cat food is sexy, your yoghurt is sexy. According to adverts, women will literally try and shag anything. What’s next? Sexy life insurance? Rosie Huntington-Whiteley posing in a coffin wearing lingerie, pretending to be all dead, but still biting her lip provocatively?

Really? Am I missing something? In the birth of GIRLs, Game of Thrones, and films like Nymphomania and Young and Beautiful, I’m starting to feel well uptight. I am nowhere NEAR as obsessed with sex as all the women in these programmes. Sometimes it makes me wonder if there is something wrong with me? It’s all they think about and talk about! In GoT, it’s all they bloody do! Can’t keep their kit on for five minutes!

My friends all feel the same. We feel bombarded by genitals and grunting and moaning; it’s kind of putting us off and it’s no longer something to look forward to. Please, please, know that if you also feel this way, there is NOTHING wrong with you – and you are certainly not alone. Our cup of tits hath finally runneth over.  

Is it possible that they are overdosing our generation with sex? Between pop videos becoming more pornagraphic and everything the media shovels at us – not to mention the new celeb obsession with showing us their underboob. Is it possible that we are becoming numb to it? Losing the ability to see the magic in sex? To me, it feels like my favourite song. If I have to hear it all day, every day, everywhere I go, I will grow tired of it. I will be immune to the rhythms and the beats that ignite life in me. Sex is losing all of its mystery.”



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