10 ways Facebook changed our lives forever!

The poke

Yep, somehow the cyber jab has become the go to tool for creepy Facebookers everywhere. Oh, a total stranger has most likely trawled through all your profile pictures and then given you ‘the poke’? Lovely.

Defining our relationships

Gone are the days of having a private romantic life. Thanks to Facebook, you’re now most likely ‘in a relationship’ that happens to be ‘complicated’ thanks to your beau’s infuriatingly unchanged ‘single’ status.  Can we just change ours to ‘deeply committed to our cat’ already?

OOH friends. Facebook friends

The only thing sadder than having 1,200 friends on Facebook is the fact that approximately 2 of them liked your last totes hilar status update. And they happened to be your parents.

Social media stalking

Just call us Sherlock Holmes. Thanks to Facebook, you can pretty much stalk each and every person you’ve ever been in contact with. Not sure about that guy you met at the pub last week? Have a scroll through his profile pics. And his recent wall posts. And maybe where he grew up. Which bring us to…

Having to lie an ungodly amount

The number one hazard of Facebook stalking aka obessed - you then have to pretend to the world you aren’t actually as clued up as you. As if a first date isn’t awkward enough, you then have to answer why you knew about your possible suitor’s recent lads’ trip to Berlin. Which he’d never mentioned before.

Holiday envy

While you’re stuck at work battling the typical British rain, your arch nemesis from school (WHY do you still have her as a friend?) is off sunning herself on a beach in Barbados. Life is cruel mistress sometimes.

Untagging: keeping up the illusion that you always look 100% fabulous since 2004

Even though pictures on a night out seem like a great idea at the time, having a glorified picture timeline of the evening which, naturally, ends with you hunched over a toilet bowl isn’t too attractive. UNTAG IMMEDIATELY.  

You’re probably never going to get employed

Thanks to said ‘night out’ photos. Have they never heard of the phrase work hard, play hard?

Oversharing is NOT caring

Surprisingly enough, we really don’t care that you had lunch at Pret for a third day in a row OR that your train was delayed on your way home from work. Save it for your diary, please.

Cyber-bragging

Have you just graduated with a first? Had the cutest baby EVER? Got engaged to a guy who looks like David Beckham? Make sure you pop it on Facebook, because it doesn’t really count unless you make it known to the entire world.